I first created this blog one day all the way back in April of last year, and typed my first post that same day. Sadly, that first post was my only post until now. It's not that I haven't wanted to post something new. It's not even that I haven't logged in and clicked the "New Post" button multiple times. It's just that every time I've done so, something more urgent has come up just as I began to type the first sentence. A baby waking up from her nap, a timer going off on the oven, a hungry husband arriving home from a hard day of work. These things are my priorities, my role in life right now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I do miss writing, though.
Just as the time has gotten away from me when it comes to this blog, so it is with my entire life. Sometimes it feels like yesterday that I gave birth to my healthy, happy, 8lbs. 9oz. Sarah Kate. Lying nervously on the operating table talking to my husband, listening to the anesthesiologist jokingly trying to lessen my fears, hearing that first cry and meeting my daughter for the first time as my husband held her up to me and said, "Look at our baby!"...all such vivid memories I can almost smell the smells and hear the sounds.
When we brought her home from the hospital, my husband and I were two adults who had never taken care of a baby in our lives. We laid her down in her crib for a moment, and stared in awe at how tiny she looked lying in what now seemed like such a massive bed for a baby.
We got settled in and began an adventure that continues to this day. We no longer had nurses available at our beckon call. It was our job to figure out when she was hungry, when she was sleepy, and it was our job to inspect the consistency of her poop. It was an adventure that included c-section recovery, breastfeeding woes, and simply adjusting to our new normal. Clueless, we learned a little more every day, until finally it began to feel natural. The love in our hearts grew stronger each and every day. We were not just clueless babysitters. I was now a mommy, and he was now a daddy. And honestly, it was kind of cool.
I have to stop here and say it was in no way easy. It was hard. Those first few months of her life were some of the most challenging days I've ever experienced. I pumped milk for 4 & 1/2 months, clinging to my resolution to breastfeed by a tiny thread called Medela. It took me THAT long to accept the fact that it just wasn't going to happen, put away the pump, and call it a day. Besides dealing with breastfeeding failure, there were postpartum anxieties to be dealt with, and 3a.m. arguments about who should get up with the baby. There were lots of tears. But there was also laughter.
A lot of laughter.
Today, our little girl isn't really a baby anymore. She is officially a walking, laughing, talking toddler. She brings us joy, she brings us laughter. She is our most amazing blessing, and sometimes our biggest frustration. She is Sarah Kate.
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